The Dirty Dozen: The Worst Movies of 2010

So far this year, I've seen over 100 movies in theaters, and an additional dozen or so on DVD. Of these releases, some have been incredible, while others earn a whole other distinction. While I'm not quite ready to put together my best of list (still have about 6 or 7 left to see for 2010 releases), I feel I am in a good position to announce the worst films of 2010. I've said in the past that the worst movies of the year are those that are the biggest disappointments. Some movies that I have panned may be ranked slightly differently than those that I merely disliked due to the fact that ones I disliked I may have expected more from (if that makes any sense!).

Here are the worst dozen - from least bad (but still awful) to absolutely unwatchable:

12. The Karate Kid

This is easily one of the dumbest movies to be released in 2010. First it's a family film with an enormous 2 hour and 20 minute run time - even the most patient of kids usually can't get past 90 minutes. The makers shamelessly were cashing in on the original by calling it the same thing - which is disgusting as they were performing kung-fu in the movie, not karate. And just as a moviegoer (who was looking forward to this) it was boooorrring and full of predictable sports movie devices.

11. When In Rome

I love Veronica Mars and Las Vegas - two shows that aren't on the air anymore. Maybe that's because the leads of the shows, Kristin Bell and Josh Duhamel, respectively, wanted to pursue movie careers. They both chose this rom-com failure, a tepid, unfunny story of a girl who steals coins from a fountain which then magically earns her stalkers - those that threw in the coins in the first place. I really hated it. That's all I have to say.

10. Eat, Pray, Love

I truly felt trapped watching this movie. Julia Roberts stars in the based-on-a-true-story tale of Liz Gilbert, a woman who was bored with her privileged life and decided to leave it all behind. With all of the tragedy and disease in the world, it was hard to get invested in Gilbert's woes as she came off whiny and spoiled. This movie would have ended up even higher on the worst list if not for the excellent cinematography.

09. Love and Other Drugs

This could have been a good movie. It should have been a good movie. You get two talented actors - Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway - and tell a true story about a girl with a disease, it just seems like something everyone would be all over. Well, the problem is it didn't know what it wanted to be - it never developed as a drama, comedy, or coming-of-age tale - it just kind of died on screen in pathetic fashion.

08. The Back-Up Plan

Jennifer Lopez has always been hit or miss with me. Selena was good, Enough was horrible. The Cell was freaking awesome, Gigli earned it's awful reputation. We could go back and forth, but we'd definitely end up putting The Back-Up Plan in the loss column. It was pure rom-com torture - a chick flick for only the chick-iest of flicksters.

07. The Bounty Hunter

It's my own fault. The trailers looked terrible. Gerard Butler is only good when he's an animated character (see How to Train Your Dragon). Jennifer Aniston is awesome but needs an agent who stops getting her involved in such run-of-the-mill stupidity. I'm not going to get into describing the plot as the filmmakers didn't really either.

06. Skyline

I was really looking forward to this movie! Alien invasions are usually so much fun, but this take on one was about as boring as they come. I didn't care about a single character, and they only showed the actual aliens for about a minute in the entire movie. Very unfortunate.

05. The Little Fockers

Meet the Parents is one of my favorite comedies. I loved it. Unfortunately it has been plagued with two increasingly terrible sequels. The Little Fockers is really just a sad exercise in rich actors getting richer solely for the sake of money, as none of them are very funny here in a story that is so plain and dull a third grader could have written it.

04. Letters to Juliet

My brother and I took our mother to see this for Mother's Day. Mom liked it. We hated it. It's a very girly movie about people (led by Amanda Seyfried and Vanessa Redgrave) driving all over Italy trying to find a lost lover. The thing that really bothered me was that none of the people thought to use a phone book, cell phone, or the internet, instead opting to drive everywhere in search of a man who surely would have come up on Google. I guess there wouldn't have been a movie if they had done that - but we all would have been better off. Sorry mom.

03. Chloe

Maybe I'm a prude, but this was one dirty little movie. Amanda Seyfried (yeah, I know, two horrible movies in a row) stars as a prostitute who is hired (by Julianne Moore's wife character) to lead a man (Liam Neeson) into temptation in a movie that is truly a love triangle in every sense. That being said, it's uncomfortable to watch, none of the characters have any redeeming qualities, and the story-telling is too clunky to appreciate anything about it. It's an awful movie.

02. You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger

Oh this movie was bad bad bad. Woody Allen lost it here, squandering a talented cast that included Anthony Hopkins, Naomi Watts, and Antonio Banderas in a tale about romantic crises at all points of married life. It's nearly unbearable to sit through and the closest I came to walking out of any movie all year.

01. After.Life

Made in 2009 but not released in the U.S. until this year, After.Life starring Liam Neeson (two horrible movies, just like Seyfried), Justin Long, and Christina Ricci in a "we want it to be trippy" thriller that is terribly predictable, terribly acted, and just all around terrible. It never opened wide, most had to catch it on DVD (like I did) and I would bet most wished they didn't.

All right, those were my worst of the year. Just missing the list were Killers, Why Did I Get Married Too? and Saw 3D. What were your worst picks for the year? Prepare to defend your answers!! Peace!

Quick Recaps

I saw three more movies, but haven't had the time to write all of the reviews. Here are my thoughts on the three briefly - but full reviews for all will come soon!

How Do You Know - Mostly boring and unbelievable, yet a couple of really really nice moments save it from a complete disaster. 4 out of 10.

Little Fockers - A complete disaster. Talented people abusing their Hollywood status. 2 out of 10. A surefire worst movie of the year contender.

True Grit - I really liked this movie - didn't love it - but liked it. Cold Mountain is better, yet this still proved compelling and mostly intriguing. The young girl is incredible. 7.5 out of 10.

All right, as I said, full reviews coming within the next few days. Have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Movie Review: BLACK SWAN

photo © 2010 John Steven Fernandez | more info (via: Wylio)**Black Swan was my 100th movie seen in theaters this year - not counting ones I saw on DVD or saw twice in theaters! That's a personal bucket list goal of mine!**

Director Darren Aronofsky's last movie, The Wrestler, was a critical hit that I just didn't care for. I felt it was a knock-off of Rocky Balboa and while I didn't hate it, I didn't get all the fuss. His newest film, Black Swan, is also a critical hit. I was cautiously looking forward to it, but worried maybe Darren and I just didn't see eye to eye when it came to how a movie should be made. Well I can happily report that in my mind anyways he has fully redeemed himself with this excellent new thriller.

Black Swan is not a ballet flick, it's a movie about ballet dancers. Natalie Portman gives the performance of her life as Nina Sayers, a dedicated performer who is addicted to her craft. When this dedication turns into obsession, her world blends with an almost schizophrenic and/or parallel dream universe that is fascinating, and at times hard, to watch. Vincent Cassel, Mila Kunis, Barbara Hershey, and Winona Ryder also give riveting supporting performances, some of which will surely earn award recognition.

I never have been to a ballet, nor do I care to. But the one thing I never stopped to think about is how hard these dancers work. How obsessed they get with being the best is just like sports, writing, or any other field. I have to ask myself "what for - it's just prancing around on stage?" but I guess that's another essay for another time. This is a movie that almost is a parable for addiction or the workaholic nature many of us have. There is so much symbolism in this movie I'm sure it will be studied in film classes for years to come. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and will see it again before it leaves theaters. I would give Black Swan a 9 out of 10.

Family Take: Absolutely not! This movie is a hard R that has sexual content, violence, and swearing. It also is extremely intense and downright scary at times.

If You Like Black Swan Try: One of the things I liked most about Black Swan is that it was different from most movies that I've seen. It's hard to pick one like it, but I would suggest Identity with John Cusack as a man who is dealing with his own set of problems as he just tries to do his job.

Movie Review: TRON: LEGACY

photo © 2010 Loren Javier | more info (via: Wylio)Okay, I'll admit, I wasn't a fan of the original Tron movie that was released twenty-odd years ago. That being said, with all the technological advancements since then, this movie should have been amazing. And while the 3D effects were cool, and there were some awesome scenes, the 127 minute movie only contained the plot of a three minute Disney theme park attraction.

The film opens sort of like the far better Star Trek movie of last year. There is a rebel who is being chased by the cops while swerving and speeding on the highway. This rebel is Sam Flynn, the troubled son of the missing Kevin Flynn who first encountered the Tron computer program in the original movie. Since the disappearance, Sam has turned his back on the family company, and instead resorts to playing pranks at their annual meetings. Far fetched? Yes. But so is getting trapped in a computer - I could forgive many flaws for the sake of having fun, but this movie just wasn't very fun.

The first twenty minutes after Sam gets sucked into the same computerized laser world as his father are the best twenty minutes in the film. The 3D lasers and gladiator style challenges are awesome. The second Sam gets rescued from these games is the second the movie goes down hill. It's not terrible, but it's way too long and extremely repetitive. The villain is a computer clone of Kevin Flynn, and he just isn't scary. And in the last few minutes, one character pulls out this "power" that I was like "why didn't you just use that earlier?"

If you decide you still want to see this movie, make sure you do in 3D. I would have been even harsher had I not been impressed by the way they utilized the format here. I would give Tron: Legacy a 5 out of 10.

Family Take: This movie is only rated PG, which when I think back, makes sense. I don't remember much swearing, the violence is all computerized - meaning the "programs" that are defeated don't bleed but instead shatter like glass. There is no sexual content, although the female characters wear some pretty tight clothing. The most offensive thing would probably be the scene in a bar -it's not terrible, but it is a little creepy. A couple of young children in the screening I was in seemed to get quite fidgety - it's way too long, and they seemed to just want it to end.

If You Like Tron: Legacy Try: While it's different in many ways, the movie Galaxy Quest, also rated PG, is much more fun. Aliens think a Star-Trek style TV show is real, so come to earth looking for the "crew" to help save their world.

Movie Review: TANGLED

photo © 2010 Loren Javier | more info (via: Wylio)Tangled is a very refreshing movie. While not geared at a 27-year old male by any means, the animated fantasy flick is good for all audiences because it relies on storytelling, and storytelling alone. The PG-rated take on the Rapunzel tale is fast-paced, fun, and as one other critic put it, doesn't throw in a lot of product placement for a cheap laugh here and there, which ultimately makes this a timeless movie. Those type don't come out that often.

Flynn Ryder is a thief who accidentally stumbles upon a tower deep in the woods. Guess who's there? Yup - Rapunzel, long hair and all, who as been unknowingly convinced by her evil "mother" that the world is a dangerous place. This "mother" is actually an old woman who uses Rapunzel's magical hair to stay young. The classic story, which I always found a little ridiculous, is told as well as it could be here, and I actually enjoyed most of it. I wasn't a big fan of the lackluster musical numbers, but again, I bet for 5-10 year-old girls, they fit the bill perfectly. From a critical standpoint, this may have lacked the emotional oomph of a Pixar film, but it's still worth seeing. I would give Tangled a 7.5 out of 10.

Family Take: I would give this PG rated film my full family blessing if not for a quite violent (relatively) stabbing near the end of the movie.

If You Like Tangled Try: Shrek takes the fairy-tale world and tears it apart, and I still love it.

Movie Review: CHRONICLES OF NARNIA - VOYAGE OF THE DAWN TREADER

photo © 2010 Walter Lim | more info (via: Wylio)Growing up, I wasn't allowed to read the Narnia books. Just about anything with magic was off-limits, despite the meaning. Since then, I haven't gone back to read the classic series. My only experience in the mythical land is through the new movie series. The third entry, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, follows a great first installment, and a good second chapter in the saga. I was looking forward to the third, hoping it would be able to keep pace with the other two. Sadly, for me, it didn't - but I didn't hate it.

Reviewing from a non-religious standpoint, the special effects and sets are really the pride of this film. The world of Narnia is brought to life so magically, I cannot imagine it done better - but again, I haven't read the books so maybe I am too easy to please. Where the problems start for me is with the characters. First, the character of Eustace, who I'm sure in the books was supposed to be a little brat, is so annoying he was almost unwatchable. The actor who played him, Will Poulter, was so stale and over-dramatic that I truly question him being cast in the role.

The story itself could have also used a lot more editing or a longer run time. They introduce so many characters but their stories are so mildly touched on - and they all had potential. They should have eliminated one or two, or just made the movie longer to fully develop them.

That being said, a "bad" day in Narnia is better than many other "good" days at the movies - it was nice to be back in this world, despite it's short comings. I would give it a 6 out of 10.

Family Take: It's a PG, but it's a strong PG. Themes of temptation and greed are explained very well, but the violence, while non-graphic, is quite intense. I would suggest this for ages 10 and up.

If You Like Voyage of the Dawn Treader Try: Try the first two in the series, or the Lord of the Rings series.

Movie Review: THE TOURIST

photo © 2010 Gage Skidmore | more info (via: Wylio)Angelina Jolie is one of my favorite actresses. While her characters are not that diverse, the action heroine she often falls back on is so well done. I'll see almost anything she's in. Despite getting critically panned, her new movie, The Tourist, also starring Johnny Depp, is not half bad. But it could have been a heck of a lot better.

Depp plays the tourist in question, a man just out for a train ride in the European countryside. When Jolie's character involves him in some risky business, instead of being mad, he finds himself in love. Some of the dialog is over-polished and hokey, and the first hour of the movie moves at a glacial pace. That being said, the last 40 minutes are excellent, fast-moving, and downright funny at times.

I would have liked Jolie and Depp to interact more - their chemistry was seemingly non-existent. They are both very good at the acting profession, but neither really seemed to want to be making this film. My guess is that their agents pitched it as a European vacation with a little side work. That's even if they went to Europe where the film is set - there are some clunky and obvious backdrops where you can practically see the green screen reflecting off of their hair. Former James Bond, Timothy Dalton, and Paul Bettany round out the underused supporting cast, but with all of that criticism, I didn't hate the movie. My guess is you won't either - you just won't love it. I would give it a 6 out of 10.

Family Take: It's too slow for most kids to want to see it, and there is some violence and profanity not suitable for those under 13.

If You Like The Tourist Try: For adults, ramp up the mystery of a train ride by watching the thriller Transsiberian which was released a couple of years ago.

It's That Time of Year

So this is the time of year where critics, film groups, and individuals start listing their top ten films of the year, as well as naming their winners for best EVERYTHING. Since these folks get to see advance screenings of every movie out there, I cannot give a final call on 2010 films until I see everything myself (some 2010 films aren't released until as late as February of 2011 - they start out in LA and NY, and just roll out.) That being said, below would be my choices as of right now - list subject to change as needed.

Best Picture: Toy Story 3

Best Director: Danny Boyle, 127 Hours

Best Actor: James Franco, 127 Hours

Best Actress: Noomi Rapace, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Best Supporting Actor: James Frencheville, Animal Kingdom

Best Supporting Actress: Jackie Weaver, Animal Kingdom

Best Animated Feature: Toy Story 3

Best Documentary: Exit Through the Gift Shop

Best Original Screenplay: Christopher Nolan, Inception

Best Adapted Screenplay: Michael Bacall & Edgar Wright, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

So that's where I'm at so far. Most of the buzzed about supporting actor roles I have yet to see, but I must say - Jackie Weaver and Noomi Rapace in the actress categories will be hard to top. They created two of the most memorable on-screen characters this year. What are your picks so far?

Movie Review: THE WARRIOR'S WAY

Not many people saw The Warrior's Way when it was released in theaters last weekend. Last night, at my evening screening, there were only two other people in the entire theater other than my brother and myself. Every so often a great movie comes out that no one goes to see (Scott Pilgrm!!) - this I can confidently tell you is not one of them. This boring, silly, disjointed east-meets-west action flick deserves the place it will earn in obscurity.

The oddly put together cast includes Academy Award Winner Geoffrey Rush, who should fire his agent for even letting him entertain the idea of playing a bit-rate drunk character. Kate Bosworth (who is know for her role in Superman Returns) plays a whiny-heroine type who gets the help from the token Asian martial arts master played by Dong-gun Jang. The overly layered plot is never fully developed, and the same can be said for most of the characters. At the heart of the movie, the message is that you should protect the ones you love, no matter who they are. That's nice and all, but the story is just not worth telling in the first place. There are too many villains, too many creeps, and too many death sequences where the music kicks in like we are supposed to care more than we do.

The only people whose hard work paid off in this movie are the set designers and the cinematographer's. Every scene looked excellent, and it's part of the reason I wanted to see the movie in the first place. Overall though, this movie would earn a 3.5 out of 10.

Family Take: The R rating is warranted for tons of blood - though most of it is over the top and powdery. There is also some sexual content discussed, but never seen on screen.

If You Like The Warrior's Way Try: If you like this, you'll love the now classic Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon which is the film that started the modern martial arts movie trend in America. It's exceptional.

Movie Review: LOVE & OTHER DRUGS

photo © 2008 Nicholas Bufford | more info (via: Wylio)Love & Other Drugs is a miserable, long, annoying exercise in patience. Much like Eat, Pray, Love, this film takes unlikable characters and have them say miserable things to one another and then the movie ends. Unlike EPL, this film doesn't even have the nice scenery to make it mildly diverting - unless you count quite a few segments of nudity as scenery. Why this story was even made into a movie is beyond me, and I would highly suggest avoiding it.

Jamie (Jake Gyllenhaal), a pharmaceutical sales rep meets Maggie (Anne Hathaway), a cynical woman with medical issues. They begin a relationship of sorts that is anything but conventional. This movie is based on a true story, but after doing some research online, I've found that the film is very very very loosely based on actual events. That's not a surprise as so much of the story felt over-the-top and ridiculous. The acting is very good - but the two leads cannot save a script that has them both be unlikable and unrealistic. There is a plot line about a new job, Viagra, and the state of the country's healthcare system, but they don't really impact the story overall.

While the film is under two hours, it felt much longer. At about twenty minutes in, I lost interest. It's so dull it's almost a crime. There isn't a whole lot more to say, other than I highly suggest passing on this waste. It's important to know that this is not a comedy like the marketing may suggest. I would give it a 3 out of 10.

Family Take: There is enough nudity and swearing to earn the R rating - and enough boredom to make kids not want to see it anyways.

If You Like Love & Other Drugs Try: You shouldn't like this - but a much better film about coping with a loved ones disease is Away From Her.

Movie Review: 127 HOURS

photo © 2009 David Shankbone | more info (via: Wylio)Every year, hundreds of movies are released. Very few of these movies ever connect with me personally. 127 Hours is the first movie in a long time to make a special connection - I loved it - and while it is brilliant film-making, single people like myself are bound to take something more away from Danny Boyle's newest masterpiece.

Aron Ralston (portrayed brilliantly by James Franco) is a real individual, and this film is the story of 127 hours of his life - the 127 hours that changed him forever (both literally and figuratively). While hiking in Utah, a rock is wedged free and falls on his arm, pinning him in a deserted cavern far away from civilization. Without cell service, limited water, and options, Ralston must decide how much he wants to live, and how far he is willing to go to leave his fateful predicament. If you haven't heard of this story in the news, I won't spoil what happens. If you have heard, don't NOT see this movie because you think it will be too disgusting. Boyle has a way of making even the most horrid of moments emotionally moving - and you can always squint.

Overall, this is one of the best movies of the year. It's not just a movie about getting stuck and the will to survive. It's a film about how important life is, even when you live alone without many friends. Ralston lived almost in a state of auto-pilot - not caring where life took him, just wanting to get through it all. I'm not there personally, but some days - many days - I have come close. I would give this film a 9 out of 10 - see it.

Family Take: This movie is too intense for young children, but I would suggest it for older teenagers on up. There is some violence and intensity that may be too much for some, and there is some profanity.

If You Like 127 Hours Try: While the message isn't as strong, Cast Away with Tom Hanks has some of the same feelings of isolation and desperation.

Three Movie Mini-Reviews

Hey everyone! Sorry for the delay in posting. Between the holiday (Happy belated Thanksgiving) and being sick, it's been a while since a movie post. Here are three mini-reviews to get us back up to speed! More full reviews to come soon!

Megamind isn't a terrible movie. The problem is just this past summer we saw practically the same animated story in the film Despicable Me. Right down to having something called a 'minion', the similarities in the two films are frequent. In the age of inflated 3D ticket prices, this one really isn't worth seeing on the big screen unless you have kids who really need to get out of the house. (5 out of 10 - appropriate for families.)

Fair Game is one of the best politically themed films in quite some time - an equally riveting and well told story of the Bush administration's leak of CIA agent Valerie Plame's identity to the general public. I highly recommend this movie no matter what side of the political spectrum you are on - if for nothing more than two see the two Oscar-worthy performances of Naomi Watts and Sean Penn. (8 out of 10 - acceptable for teenagers on up.)

The Next Three Days is quite possibly one of the most absurd movies to come out in a while - yet it also happens to be very entertaining. Russell Crowe stars as a man married to a woman who has been sentenced to life in prison for a crime she didn't (?) commit. The mystery side of the story is unfortunately flawed and silly, but the action sequences are a whole lot of fun. Don't spend the full ticket price on it, but a DVD viewing wouldn't be unreasonable. (5 out of 10 - acceptable for teenagers on up.)