Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?

When you write for the public, you're supposed to write at a fifth grade level (or less). It's a well known marketing rule. Both personally and professionally I run into people breaking this law all the time. Just because you know some fancy words, doesn't mean you should use them. When I questioned someone I worked with once about this very thing, they snapped "if they don't know what it means, they can look it up!" Well, people aren't going to take the time do that if they didn't take the time to learn it in the first place. I think the biggest offenders of this rule are standard movie critics. I was once asked what "poignant" meant when a critic was listed on a DVD case as saying the movie Anywhere But Here was "Funny and poignant...." (According to Merriam-Webster, it means "deeply affecting."). Critics see so many movies that many become quite elitist in their tone. They know better. You don't. Listen to them - whether you understand them or not. *Scoff*

In my reviews, I try and avoid the confusing buzz words. I won't describe a plot as "banal", I will say it's boring. I won't complain about the lack of "Darwinian progression", I will say the story just didn't do it for me. I won't say a movie is "tantamount to" something, I'll say it's like something. I might sound smarter if I use the big words, but I am blogging - I don't care how smart I sound, grammatical errors and all. I want everyone who stops by MMOM to understand what I want to get across. It's not that I think the readers are stupid (well, they are on my blog...just kidding), but my recreational "job" isn't to educate in vocab, it's to review and talk about movies.

Back in high school, I took a creative writing class. Best. class. ever. I love that sort of thing. We were given an assignment in poetry, and I thought I would mess with the teacher. I looked up a bunch of really long/strange words. One line went "Conclaves peregrinations travel with their uniquities." Yes, the last word is completely made up. When I got back the graded poem, I got a 100 and the comment "This has global implications." I laughed so hard - I think my teacher was afraid to act like he didn't know what I was saying so he just gave me an A and moved on.

In the very recent review of the movie Ramona and Beezus (which I won't be seeing, sorry), Entertainment weekly critic Lisa Schwarzbaum described the film as a "sweetened synthesis of stories [from the book series]." "Sweetened synthesis"? Seriously? You are going to use that terminology when describing a G-rated kids movie? My word. Maybe I am off base to call her disconnected from normal folk because she is one of the most popular critics out there. Although Heidi and Spencer are popular too - and that doesn't make them better than normal folk (and I'm pretty sure they are worse.). In an episode of one of my favorite shows of all time, 30 Rock, the hero Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) is reluctant to accompany her boss Jack (Alec Baldwin) to a business retreat because everyone will just use big words like "synergy." People who don't have an extensive vocabulary feel uncomfortable in a conversation when these big words are thrown out because it makes them feel like a smaller person. I am not impressed by someone who can construct a big sentence - not because I don't know what they mean (sometimes I don't) - but because they sound like a pretentious (annoying) ignoramus (moron). So on that note, I hope you all have a big word for great followed by a big word for weekend.