(TV) Movie Review: TEMPLE GRANDIN

If you had asked me two days ago, I couldn't even tell you what a 'temple grandin' was. Well, as it turns out, it's not an it, but a she - Temple Grandin is the name of one extraordinary woman, and Temple Grandin is the story of her life. Recently the film won the Emmy award for best film made for television, and Claire Danes won for her portrayal of the autistic title character and her struggle to get educated and make an impact on the world.

The movie jumps around quite a bit from one point in Temple's life to another. While at first the movie is loud, frenetic, and distracting, you quickly learn that the makers of the film are really trying to put you in the position of someone who suffers from autism. We follow Temple as she makes an impact on the cattle industry, her friends, and her family.

I don't normally like movies that are sappy - but this movie avoided that for the most part. It was a feel-good movie with brains, and that is so rare. Frankly, TV movies have such a negative stigma, that I wish this would have been released in theaters. I mean if Vampires Suck can make millions, shouldn't something as moving as this be able to? This is an HBO film, and it's also out on DVD. I would suggest taking the time to watch it. Temple Grandin earns a score of 8 out of 10.

Movie Review: THE SWITCH

Every so often there comes along a movie that most mainstream critics just don't like and I do. The Switch is one of those movies. Far nicer and sweeter than I expected, you may not LOVE this movie, but if it doesn't make you smile, there is something wrong with you.

Jennifer Aniston plays Kassie, a woman who is tired of waiting on a seemingly non-existent Mr. Right to start a family. She decides to find a donor who is tall and has a good sense of humor (traits not possessed by her best friend, the neurotic Wally (Jason Bateman)) and hold a very special gathering for friends and family. At this "insemination party", a very drunk Wally decides to 'switch' her donor's ingredient for his own, thus secretly hijacking her pregnancy. Fast-forward seven years and we meet Sebastian, Kassie's child, who is becoming more and more like his real father Wally by the day.

There is an underlying sad tension building all throughout the movie as we wait for the moment when Wally will put two and two together and remember what he did that fateful night, and then when he must reveal this dirty secret to Kassie. My guess is this is why some critics didn't like it. If you go into it with a better perspective though, it is more about how Wally decides he is ready to commit to this young child as a father, and how he is a better person for it, regardless of how everything ends up. A couple of scenes are downright touching, and the ending, while somewhat rushed and flawed, didn't ruin the story. I was not expecting much and in return got a whole lot. I would give The Switch a 7.5 out of 10.

Movie Review: AVATAR 3D SPECIAL EDITION

I saw Avatar for the first time last year on Christmas Day. I saw it a second time during it's original release on an IMAX screen. Since then, the film has gone on to make more money than any movie in history. It won many awards for it's technical accomplishments, and set the standard for how a movie should be shot in the third dimension. In my opinion, the theater experience, 3D and all, makes the film one of the best cinematic experiences you're bound to sit through. And while I still have issues with the elements of the film's plot (lack of originality - it really is just an alien version of Dances with Wolves), when it re-hit theaters this weekend for a limited time with extra scenes, I decided I couldn't miss the chance to see the movie the way it truly was meant to be seen one last time. I went with a coworker (one of about nine people on earth who had never seen the movie), paid the inflated ticket price (ugh!) and went back to Pandora.

The extra footage added is all interesting to see, but it's understandable why James Cameron cut it in the first place. Most of the footage comes in very small segments - a visit to a school house, a hunting expedition, and an emotional death scene centering around one of the Na'vi. I cannot say you should buy a ticket to the re-release because of this extra footage, but I would suggest just seeing it because well, the days to this movie on the big screen in 3D are numbered. So my original grade of 8 out of 10 remains in tact. If you haven't seen it yet, on the big screen, consider this your second chance. Go. You won't regret it.

Movie Review: PIRANHA 3D

One of my friends asked me if the only reason I would go to see Piranha 3D was to write a funny blog post. The answer is no - but this type of film does lend itself well to a good mocking. The real reason I wanted to see this movie was because 1) I love a good (or cheesy) monster flick now and then, and 2) the critical response to this movie has been shockingly positive.

The story, for a movie like this, is actually kind of believable in the realm of "if piranhas really attacked, how could that happen". A small earthquake creates a seismic shift that connects a lake with another underwater lake that is inhabited by prehistoric beasts who have been waiting to be released from their underwater prison. Oh, and they are starving! Of course, this earthquake coincides perfectly with spring break festivities, and of course, this lake just so happens to be where all the Arizona spring breakers go to booze up, strip down, and of course, go swimming. Put all these factors together and well, oh, you can do the math.

Most of the characters we meet are paper thin and there really just to be devoured. There is a mom/sheriff and her children. There is an adult film company similar to Girls Gone Wild. There is a dive team. These people really are second to the fish and as a viewer, I would have liked to care a little more about someone.

I was expecting a high level of gore, but this movie outdid even my expectations. Not only are there brutal deaths caused by piranhas, but people die getting run over by boats, having wires slice their body in half (diagonally for effect of course), getting their heads ripped off when their hair gets caught in propellers, and a variety of other gruesome ends. For a second it felt like I was watching a Saw or Final Destination movie. There is a point where authorities are carrying a wounded girl and she just breaks into two pieces - and I burst out laughing -because while the violence is so over the top and sick, it's so unbelievably hokey.

The next item on the "never take kids anywhere near this movie" list is the nudity. This is where the movie really disappointed me. Yeah, it's spring break, breasts are inevitable now and then. What the filmmakers decided to do though is, after the first twenty minutes, include nudity (both male and female, but primarily female) in almost ever other scene for the rest of the movie. Some of the scenes are long and drawn out and don't forward the story at all. Other moments weren't needed - a bikini would have helped and the scene would have been equally effective.

Overall I cannot in good conscious recommend this movie. There is too much violence, too much nudity, and too much stupidity to really give it a stamp of approval - especially since the less than 90 minute run time will cost you extra as it's in 3D. That being said, I enjoyed the movie far more than I should have, and if you watch the trailer and find yourself curious, you most likely won't be let down. I would give this movie a 5.5 out of 10.

Movie Review: THE EXPENDABLES

Look at the poster for this movie. At first glance, it looks like quite the impressive line-up of action stars. It's like Ocean's 11 for the steroid set. Now think for a moment about what each of these guys do best. Kill, and blow crap up. Now, when you have all those guys killing and blowing stuff up, you get a frenetic mess of a movie that has little plot, and less originality.

I didn't expect much from The Expendables but I was hoping to be surprised. I remember I watched Death Race thinking I was going to hate it but ended up being totally entertained. That didn't happen here. And while the poster touts all these big names, oddly enough it's really a three person show of Stallone, Statham, and Li, with cameos from about a dozen others who really just show up to shoot someone, blow something up, or show that they haven't died since the 80s.

The thin story (or excuse to get these action stars to cross paths) centers around an island nation that is being taken over by a rogue FBI agent(or CIA op, I forget, it doesn't really matter). How this American gets the power to cripple the leader of this nation is something they don't explain, but as villains go, this one isn't all that scary. The Expendable Crew dispatches two of their own, Stallone and Statham, to go to the island, meet a mysterious attractive female contact, and see what can be done to restore order.

There are a few fun moments, but many more that are so loud and over the top that it's just ultimately not worth paying to see. This struck me as a perfect TV movie of the week. I would give it a 4 out of 10.

Movie Review: SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD

If I had died with Eat Pray Love being the last movie I had seen in theaters, I would have had to kill myself. That being said, I rushed...okay, made my way to something else - something else I had been looking forward to more and for quite some time. That something else - Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World.

Michael Cera (my twin) stars as the title character who tries to win over new-girl-in-town Ramona but before they can be together, he must defeat her seven evil exes. The plot is really that simple, but definitely original. Styled like a video game movie in an alternate universe that's not that different from our own, SPVTW is seriously one of the most entertaining movies I've seen all year.

The movie is set in Toronto, Canada, and features a cast of characters to which maybe only one is over the age of 30, and they are only in it briefly. You really cannot compare this movie to anything else, but if I was forced to I would say it's like if Kill Bill was crossed with Dude, Where's My Car.

I've often said that one sign of a great movie is if when it ends I'm ready to watch it again. This is one of those movies. I complained about Eat Pray Love never seeming to end, whereas I will complain that this movie didn't go on long enough - I was totally caught up in this world. It won't be for everyone, and should definitely be avoided by those who have a headache going in, but if you want to see a totally entertaining movie that is unlike most everything else out there (which is a rarity these days), get a life and see this movie. I would give it an 8.5 out of 10.

Movie Review: EAT PRAY LOVE

There was a mentally challenged individual in my screening of Eat Pray Love. This individual was talking quite often out loud in the theater, which is normally a major pet-peeve of mine, but in this instance, I was forgiving as I knew they couldn't help it. Midway through the movie, they exclaimed in dismay "When is it going to end!?" I agreed with their sentiment completely.

The story is about Elizabeth Gilbert (Julia Roberts), a woman who chronicled her year-long vacation to three amazing places - Italy, India, and Bali. Where the movie doesn't disappoint is in it's cinematography of these amazing places. Watching this movie made me want to plan a vacation. Where the movie does trip up though is in character development - which is sloppy right from the get go. The filmmakers never truly convey why Gilbert leaves her husband who seems to be very devoted to her. Why she is able to attract a man half her age to fall deeply in love with her - and why she ditches him as well. I'm not ruining anything - these are things you can see in the trailer and things that happen within the first twenty minutes of the movie. There are some attempts at explaining through some very awkward flashbacks, but there is a point where I stopped caring.

The pacing is also abysmal. This movie made The Curious Case of Benjamin Button feel like a commercial. When the characters aren't developed well, and all you're left with is one scene after another of J.Ro eating, praying, and loving with people who you just don't care about, that cycle gets old pretty quick. I never took the time to read the book, but as I've said before, many great movies have been made from great books that I haven't read. Frankly though, this wasn't even a passable movie. I would give it a 4 out of 10.

Worst Movie Ever?

There is a documentary making it's way around a few select theaters in the country right now - it's entitled Best Worst Movie. Of course, this interested me quite a bit, so I did some research. The documentary tells of the cast and crew of the 1990 movie Troll 2, an absurd PG-13 horror flick about trolls with an appetite for an odd human/plant combination, and their quest to turn vacationing visitors in their territory into these hybrids to feast upon.

Now, I didn't want to see the documentary until I had seen the movie in question, because that might spoil the fun. So I searched my local library system - and not even one library in all of Central Massachusetts had it. So I did an online search and to my surprise, it's available for a limited time to watch for free on Hulu - which is a legal media viewing site. Click here for the link. So last night I watched the movie, and let me tell you this: it's so bad, so terrible, so awful, so over-the-top....that it's one of the most absurdly entertaining bad movies you're bound to watch.

A bad movie in my mind is either a giant disappointment and/or a huge bore. I had no expectations going into this movie other than hoping it would be terrible, so then in that regard it delivered tremendously. Every now and then it's just hilarious to sit back and laugh at cardboard cut-out acting, horrendous costumes, and sets that look pulled straight out of a middle school play....and since Saturday Night Live is on hiatus for the summer, this movie filled that need of mine.

I honestly cannot believe this movie was made. But I am so glad it was! This movie was bad. Terrible in fact. I don't even want to spoil anything because it's so bad it truly is the BEST WORST MOVIE. I cannot wait to see the documentary when it either comes to a theater near me or is released on DVD. In the meantime, you should watch Troll 2 (you don't need to watch the first one - there is no plot or depth, I promise you!). If I had to rate it I would give it a 0 out of 10 on a cinematic scale, and a 8 on the entertaining scale - so we'll give it an overly generous 4 overall score.

Movie Review: GET LOW

"Get Low" is probably is simplest film I have seen so far this year - and it's one of the nicest. This is the movie that you take your grandparents to.

Chances are that before this review, you hadn't even heard of it. Starring a strong veteran cast led by Robert Duvall, Sissy Spacek, and Bill Murray, this movie feels like it was made a long time ago - and I mean that as a compliment.

Robert Duvall plays a miserable man whose inner demons have become unbearable. He decides to seek the help of a local funeral director (Murray) and his assistant (Lucas Black) to throw him a funeral party where town residents can come and speak their peace about him.

This is a movie that's strength is within the character development. This movie is based on a true story, however in the wrong hands this scenario could have come over completely unrealistic. The filmmakers do a great job at making us care about all of the characters we meet, and the ending is satisfying. I do like to be challenged a little more when I see dramas, but I did thoroughly enjoy the experience. I would give Get Low a not so low score of 7.5 out of 10.

DVD Round-Up for August 10th

This coming Tuesday, a bunch of movies will hit rental shelves (or Redbox machines) and three of these films are worth checking out. I wanted to give you the round-up of these movies so you'll have something to go on when you're looking for a good rental.

Date Night (PG-13) - Tina Fey and Steve Carrell team up to tackle a so-so script in exceptional fashion. I talked recently about how important a screenwriter is and how actors alone cannot save a movie - well, this is one movie that walks the line very closely, but does provide enough awkwardness and hilarity to make it worth watching. If you missed it in theaters, you should check it out. I'd give this movie a 7 out of 10.

Death at a Funeral (R) - This is the funniest comedy to be released so far this year. I was crying. Literally crying from how hard I was laughing. I cannot wait for it to come out so I can see it again and catch parts that I missed from laughing so hard. It's the story of a quirky family coming together at a funeral, and it's ridiculously funny. The cast is great and the pacing is perfect. 8.5 out of 10.

The Joneses (R) - This is an okay movie with a brilliant concept. It's the perfect example of a movie to watch on DVD, as it has it's flaws, but it's unlike almost anything else out there. Demi Moore and David Duchovny are the father and mother of a very trend-setting family that has a boat-load of secrets. I would suggest not reading anything else about the movie before seeing it as the pay-off will be much greater. I would give this movie a 7 out of 10.

All right, that's the round-up. Happy movie watching!!

Movie Review: THE OTHER GUYS

Will Ferrell is a hit-or-miss type of guy with me. Some of his movies I have loved (Anchorman, Old School, Blades of Glory, Elf) while others I believe to be drastic comedic misfires (Step Brothers, Semi-Pro, Talladega Nights). I think he's probably the funniest guy working in show business (funniest overall is Tina Fey, hands down), but he doesn't always pick the best material. I still go to see all of his movies in hopes of finding a new great comedy.

My verdict in short - The Other Guys is Ferrell's best/funniest movie in years.

Ferrell plays a bumbling dork of a detective named Allen whose partner in fighting crime is Terry, the much tougher (on the surface) "bad cop" wannabe played by Mark Wahlberg. The two are "The Odd Couple" for our time, and play off of each other perfectly. Their banter is the best part of the movie - and they go at it often. There were never any outrageously funny moments, but the regular funny comes so rapid fire that you feel like you don't stop laughing from beginning to the very end (yes, stay through to the END of the credits). There is a back story about fighting corporate corruption but it really takes the back seat - as it should - to the comedy.

There are a few really nice surprises, including a part that every Red Sox fan needs to see - it's the most pro-Red Sox Nation movie since Fever Pitch, and all for one short scene which I won't spoil. This isn't as funny as Grown Ups in my opinion, but it's much funnier than last week's Dinner for Schmucks. I would give The Other Guys a 7 out of 10.

DVD Review: Chloe

Screenwriters everywhere should rejoice! The movie Chloe is the perfect example of how great acting cannot save a terrible script - thus proving how important a good writer really is. Chloe is a despicable little movie that I didn't see in theaters and shouldn't have seen upon it's recent DVD release - and I blame Erin Wilson, the screenwriter.

A loving wife (Julianne Moore - who I still think is tremendous) plans a surprise party for her workaholic husband (Liam Neeson), but he misses his flight home - thus missing the party and embarrassing the wife. She suspects that he missed the flight because he was engaging in an affair, but since she cannot prove it, she hires a young, stunning escort (Amanda Seyfried) to try and lead him into temptation and then report back. It's entrapment in it's ugliest, and nobody (by nobody I mean us the viewers) needs or cares to be a part of it.

The movie takes an unoriginal bizarre turn which makes it all the more formulaic, and the "twist" ending is about as surprising as the outcome of the ship in Titanic. This movie never decided what it wanted to be - it flirted with thriller, romance, horror, drama, and pornography, but never committed to one genre thus never developing. It's never believable, and never satisfying.

I really hated this movie - but like I said at the beginning - the acting is top-notch. Maybe this movie looked a lot better on paper, but it's certainly not worth watching. From a content perspective, there is also quite a bit of nudity - including a graphic woman-on-woman sex scene. The screenwriter was going for cheap shocks and in the process sacrificed plot and intelligence. I would give Chloe a 3 out of 10.

Movie Review: CATS & DOGS: THE REVENGE OF KITTY GALORE

I am not going to spend more than this line defending why I went to see this movie. Cats and Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore is a star-studded sequel to the 2001 film Cats and Dogs. The two movies really have no connection however, and this doesn't matter. The only reason you go to a movie like this is to laugh at animated animals causing hi-jinx. And that is exactly what happens here.

Viewers learn of a plot to destroy mankind through the downfall of dogs. Good cats and good dogs fight evil cats and it's all kind of silly, but it's a movie about animated animals after all. There are a few really funny moments, a few really cute moments (puppies, kittens, etc.) and a whole lot more dull ones. I am not mad that this movie is stupid - but I am more frustrated that you could tell that not a single person in the movie had to work more than a day. My guess is many of the A-list stars literally phoned in their voice roles. It seemed to be really low-budget but I hear it wasn't.

I don't have a whole lot more to say about this, but basically if you see the trailer and find it annoying or boring, you won't like the movie. I would give it a 4 out of 10.